Valentines Day "Bah! Humbug!"

I thought that on this lovely Valentines Day I would break from the norm and post a nice story about love and romance.  Then I looked around my house, which looks like a tornado (my 3 year old Tasmanian Devil) had just ripped through my living room. I've been feeling under the weather since my wife left town and here comes Valentines Day. A day that I have always spent with my wife for the last 20 years and that streak ended today. I don't even have a Milky Way to munch on. "Standing at the drive-in, branded a fool, what will they say Monday at school." Anyway, I chose this story of fantasy, bad luck and satisfaction instead. 

Have you ever been so excited for a party, only to attend and get sick a couple of days later? You read in the paper that you aren't the only one that got sick after attending the party. Under normal circumstances it would not be that big of a deal, but when the party took place at the famous Playboy Mansion there may be some cause for concern. Grotto Cooties!!! Yuck!

Misery Really Loves Company temporarily welcomes those who woke up one day feeling like it was Christmas morning. You were gonna do something that not many people have done.  The gates of adult toy land were about to open up and you would soon be tip toeing through the naked gardens of the famous grotto. Like Aquaman, you make your way through countless magazine covers that have magically come to life. You swim by them, admiring them like beautiful coral. Your in heaven, the last thing on your mind is that you're floating in a hot soup of nasty bacteria. Not only was the 82 degree temperature in the grotto perfect for that "fantasy come true" encounter, it was also the perfect mating ground for some mutant germ creations. After completed your lap you found a spot between Miss October 98 and Miss April 07. You looked up, gave God a little wink and like a king you summoned your prize with your eyes. Just like in your fantasy there was no instant disappointment as they both swam to you in perfect sync. Only in this fantasy world would that ever work. In the real world you would get slapped, told off and possibly arrested.  

You went home satisfied and on top of the world, but after a day or two you start to feel the effects. Not only was there a copy of the latest Bruno Mars CD in your gift bag, there was also a nasty little Hefner bug that had decided to make you its new home.  Flu like symptoms, fever, respiratory problems and violent headaches, sounds like fun especially after the night of your life. I guess that nothing's for free brother. That being said,  I welcomed you to the blog on a temporary basis because this type of misery is very temporary. I know that once you start feeling better and that little but powerful Hefner bug has been put to bed, you will eventually feel that it was all worth it. Well, was it? I want full details!!  

Happy Valentines Day!

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