Have you ever stolen anything and felt horrible about it? No matter how horrible you felt I can guarantee that you weren't as sorry as this lunatic. His desire for dining like rich folk made him kidnap a couple of samarai lobsters that quickly issued a get out of parenthood free card. This fool stuffed these lobsters down his pants and with a quick snip his manhood was finished.
I know that times are tough, but COME ON!!! Please join me in welcoming this poor soul to Misery Really Loves Company. Next time try stealing a salami instead. The ladies will give you a second look, and other than possibly getting arrested, there is no danger of losing what ya mamma gave ya. Hot drawn butter anyone?
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